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Monthly Archives: March 2008

Okay, today I’m going to write something personal and not in English, of course. I’m growing painful with my grammatical mistake and error every time I write in English. My geol prof today commented me on my grammar mistakes, “keep your eyes open!!”. Duh, I am going to be a successful geologist one day, and need to write thesis to complete my honors degree, thus I need to increase my level of communications skills in english and writing. How? How do I do that? Need to practice writing and talking? I don’t have time to talk, talk, and talk. I do have confidence, but can these Cdn accept my idea of conversation?. Different culture have teach me that they like to talk about how to get drunk, enjoy, and similar stuff, but me, as one of the “ilmuan” like to talk about education, politics, something that knowledge-oriented talk, not some dirty confusing mind shit! Anyways, while I’m typing this post, the wind outside is so brutal, that my seems-to-be closed windows shaking like hell, and the wind still able to penetrate trough the narrow sill that caused my thumbs hurt hitting the keyboard. Here goes my personal feeling and side story.

Satu ketika dulu, mak aku selalu tanya “bila besar nak jadi apa?”. Jawapan aku hanya satu: Juruterbang aka pilot. Entah kenapa, aku suka sangat naik kapal terbang, suka melancong sana sini, tengok budaya orang lain, tengok atendan kapal baik lelaki dan perempuan. Makanan pun sedap, gaji lumayan, takyah belajar jauh-jauh dan susah. Tak pernah terlintas dalam jawapan aku, atau kepala aku nak jadi Doktor, atau sesuatu yang memang diluar jangkaan maka ayah kakak-kakak aku. Ada juga kadang-kadang, disebabkan profesion atuk dan ayah aku cikgu, aku nak jadi pensyarah universiti, tapi tak tahu bidang apa, main suka-suka sebut jer. Aku masa tu takdalah budak mana pun, dah sekolah rendah, kira dah boleh membezakan baik dan buruk. Bila aku mula masuk sekolah menengah baru aku dapat nampak apa patut aku jadi bila besar nanti. Dari situ aku bertekad jadi jurutera aka engineer. Ni semua sebab pakcik aku yang berjaya tak ingat dunia, dan pada dasarnya dia adalah seorang civil engineer. Punyalah tekun aku belajar, semata-mata nak kejar pakcik aku, nak pergi Jerman nak ambil sekolah dekat sana, nak bawak balik ilmu orang-orang barat yang pandai buat kereta, lebuhraya, banggunan-banggunan, jambatan, kapal-kapal di laut dan udara, robot, dan sebagainya lagi. Akhirnya, apa aku dapat adalah sesuatu yang memang tak pernah terlintas (walaupun aku pernah dengar sebelum ni) dalam mana-mana bidang atau career yang aku pernah tulis masa sesi kaunseling dengan kaunselor sekolah atau mana-mana perbualan dengan orang ramai.

Kalau nak diikutkan cerita asal, aku ada juga dapat tawaran MARA untuk belajar dekat German, ikut kursus selama 2 dan 1/2 tahun kat GMI, terbang ke sana pada lewat 2007 dan sambung lagi untuk 3 tahun. Aku ada dengar kalau diikutkan kehebatan individu, dia boleh sambung buat Master atau kerja terus kat sana. Begitulah pencapaian aku yang paling berbaloi pernah dilakukan setakat ini, aku pergi jauh dari rumah ke Maktab tercinta di Kg. Separap, aku belajar demi mak ayah aku yang tua di rumah, untuk kakak-kakak aku yang bergitu prihatin dekat aku dari kecil lagi, aku nak balas jasa mereka. Tapi Allah tu sayang dekat aku, sayang sangat pada masa tu, aku rasa, dia lonjakkan lagi rezeki aku, tapi untuk ambil bahagian rezeki itu, aku kena buat congak dan logis yang satu hari nanti akan ada efeknya yang tersendiri. Allah bagi aku tajaan dari Pet, dan bidang yang aku pilih untuk sesi temuduga sebagai satu cubaan (nak keluar negara, siapa taknak) tanpa mengharapkan nasib yang baik. Oleh kerana sponsorship Pet ni sangatlah selamat untuk masa depan aku (juga pelajar-pelajar lain yang terpilih), juga untuk mak ayah aku yang nak sangat aku ambil tajaan ni (senang dapat kerja, senang dapat duit nak balas jasa diorang balik), aku tinggalkan cita-cita aku yang aku dah plan dengan baik sekali sejak dari tingkatan satu lagi.

Mula-mula tu, aku ada juga rasa macam serba salah, tak puas hati jadi Geologist ni. Time dekat kolej, aku ada fikir sejenak nak tinggalkan Pet, tidak apa, aku boleh cari balik duit tebus kat Pet, nak ambil bidang Jurutera kat GMI tu, peluang masih terbuka. Itu ternyata adalah fikiran yang paling teruk dan bahaya sekali. Kasihan kat mak ayah aku tu, bukannya ada pekerjaan, seorang pesara, seorang surirumah. Kakak-kakak aku? Semua dah ada keluarga, ingat aku sorang jer ker diorang nak jaga? Kesian juga kat penjamin-penjamin aku. Memang teruk apa aku nak buat masa tu. Nak taknak, aku kena juga buka hati aku, tanamkan semangat jangan kalah, aku dah sampai sini, satu perjalanan jauh, bukan senang orang nak dapat tajaan Pet. Kawan-kawan pun dah stabil, life makin enjoy, dah nampak masa depan yang agak stabil, jangan patah balik! Teruskan! Alhamdulillah, setakat ni ilmu geologi yang aku terima ni takda satu pun yang aku letak taraf paling rendah sekali, semuanya seronok. Belajar satu benda yang baru, out of my life’s norm, kadang-kadang tu ada juga rasa pelik apa yang aku belajar pasal batu, pasal tanah, pasal evolusi, pasal konformiti, pasal kitaran Milankovitch, pasal pemanasan global, pasal laut, pasal haiwan invertebrate, pasal dan pasal lagi. Tak pernah aku datang situasi “hilang dalam kegelapan” pasal apa aku belajar, ni sebabnya aku letak taraf ilmu aku belajar itu, ilmu yang aku akan gunakan satu hari nanti pada tahap paling tinggi. Aku ubah mindset aku dari jurutera (malah sampai hari ni aku suka baca media-media yang berunsurkan physics dan technology) kepada Geologist, sebab apa? Sebab aku sudah sampai sini, sebab kehidupan ni bukan main-main, sebab aku gunakan kekuatan akal dan emosi aku untuk berfikir, affect and effect kalau aku nak patah balik.

Sudahlah tu, kenapa tiba-tiba kau cakap maca orang hilang akal jer? Aku cuma nak mengingatkan diri sendiri, atau sesiapa yang kat luar sana apa yang aku dah lalui, apa yang aku rasa dan moraliti diri aku ni yang aku rasa cukup puas hati, takat ni lah. Akan datang juga atu hari nanti, aku jadi tak betul, rasa macam nak mati jer, kecewa dengan diri sendiri atas perbuatan bodoh yang dilakukan tanpa akal dan logis.

 

Untuk negara ku Malaysia, aku cukup terkejut tapi dapat aku jangkakan dari dahulu lagi yang akan berlakunya pertukaran kuasa atas pilihan rakyat yang telah sekian lamanya sengsara atas perbuatan pentadbiran yang berat sebelah dan korup. Sejauh mana berat sebelah itu, adalah bukti-buktinya (aku malas nak ulas, sebab aku bukan pemerhati yang expert dalam politik) yang telah dikeluarkan oleh parti pembangkang menjelang pilihan raya, memang kerja yang memuaskan. Walaupun parti paling berpengaruh masih menang majoriti, tapi hasrat para pembangkang dan rakyat berhasil untuk menolak 2/3 pengusaan mereka dalam parlimen. Tahniah diucapkan.

Pagi lepas pengumuman, hari isnin di Malaysia, aku dengar suara mak yang penat duduk depan tv nak tengok siapa yang menang. Dia kata kawasan aku tinggal masih dikuasai BN, tapi dengan wakil rakyat yang baru. Maybe sebab dia baru dan kurang korup (atau tak korup langsung), tu sebab dia menang. Tapi kawasan lain kata mak aku, hancur bagai dilanda tsunami. Jangan salahkan keluarga aku yang pro-BN, mereka orang lama, orang yang pernah merasa kegembiraan hidup dengan Parti Perikatan, hidup dalam ketakutan tahun 1969 dahulu. Meraka ada pengalaman melihat bagaimana negara ini dicorakkan sejak zaman kemerdekaan 51 tahun yang lepas. Aku membesar bagaikan orang yang sudah melihat negara ini jauh dari orang lain yang sebaya dengan aku. Kadang-akadang aku rasa macam dah tua jer diri aku ni. Jauh sangat aku melalut ni.

Aku harap dapatlah kerajaan “Malaysia Baru” ini mengubah apa yang boleh diubah yang sekaligus mengubah nasib rakyat yang tertindas, dan membawa Malaysia terus maju. Janganlah asyik nak gaduh nak jer sesama sendiri dan antara kaum. Aku datang keluar negara ni cukup bangga bila orang cakap aku ni orang multicultural, banyak budaya dan bahasa aku tahu, sedangkan 2-3 ayat jer aku tahu di luar bahasa ibunda (selain bahasa inggeris). Orang ambil negara aku sebagai contoh negara islam berbilang bangsa yang sampai hari ni masih mengekalkan keamanan dan kemajuan ekonomi yang pesat, walaupun tak sepesat China dan Singapore. Aku cuma tersenyum sambil kata “thank you”.

Aku ada lihat akhbar online (utusan, malaysiakini) pasal isu DEB di Pulau Pinang dan Selangor. Aku ada belajar sejarah dulu yang Dasar Ekonomi Baru or New Economic Policy (NEP) ni banyak membantu nasib orang-orang melayu yang jauh tersorok dalam tanah akibat kemiskinan yang rata-ratanya dari ketidakupayaan untuk mengembangkan perniagaan. Aku tidak tahu samada ketidakupayaan ni datangnya dari taraf pendidikan orang melayu, atau mana-mana unsur luar yang menekan mereka duduk jer kat bawah tu. Aku kena buka balik buku teks sejarah tingkatan 5. DEB ini ada jangka masa untuk sampai gol dia, iaitu tahun 1991 seingat aku. Kalau nak diikutkan, DEB ni dah hilang dah pun, dan digantikan dasar-dasar yang dicipta Tun M dan seterusnya oleh tragic hero negara kita, Pak Lah. Tapi, bagi segilintir masyarakat melayu, adalah perlunya DEB untuk kemudahan orang-orang susah. Erti kata lain, senang untuk orang yang memang sudah senang. Ada antara teman aku selalu berpesan, kalau nak hilangkan sistem “gimik” DEB ni, ibarat menghilangkan keistimewaan orang melayu hendaklah dilakukan secara ansur-ansuran. Janganlah terus padam benda tu tanpa fikir masak-masak, dan diperlukan juga ayat-ayat yang manis dari pemimpin. Aku selalu tenangkan dia, kata ada lah jalan pemimpin BA ni nak buat. Maklumlah, dia pun dari Penang. Tapi aku sentiasa fikir, kalau hak istimewa tu hilang, macam mana dengan kuasa dan sistem diraja kita? Bukan ker raja-raja kita lindung benda tu semua, kalau dah takda, apa lagi yang boleh mereka protect?

Entah apa aku merepek, aku nak tamatkan blog post aku hari ini dengan mengatakan sebagaimana sesetengah orang diluar sana berpesan, jangan gabra sangat bila DEB taknak digunakan di PP dan Selangor. Aku percaya, aku harus percaya yang pemimpin-pemimpin parti yang menang ni ada agenda dan rancangan yang rapi untuk menjadikan Malaysia berjaya. Juga untuk di Selangor, negeri kelahiranku, tahniah diatas pelantikan MB baru, Tan Sri Khalid Ibrahim. Semoga dia dapat menunaikan hasrat dia (atau janji) untuk membangunkan orang melayu Selangor ke peringkat antarabangsa dan orang cina mengembangkan perniagaan sekali dengan kebangkitan negara China. Apa agaknya silibus untuk orang melayu S’gor kita boleh pergi antarabangsa? Mungkin dengan mengembangkan ilmu di kepala bukan di dada, sebagaimana dilakukan aku. Kenapa tidak disekalikan semua untuk meraih ekonomi dan bersama mendirikan wi-fi di estet…

Selamat malam.

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Today, Friday March 7, mark the significant event of my stomach hurting without a reason. I never skip my breakfast, even lunch and dinner. Yes I do get hungry in the middle of the night, but that was normal for the last 2 years, almost 2 year. Just 4 weeks left, everyone is going home this summer. It’s going to be a wild summer, maybe not, we just don’t know yet. There are lots of stuff happened this week, and my determination to get a job is somehow a significant event also. I never try to pursue any job, even during the long-waiting-holiday after SPM and suring the last summer break. I found no particular interest to do any job that require physical strength and ultimately mental skill. But now I want to change that.
There is a job posting for the next semester of school, and the job is to become a coordinator for international events. The pay is not that high, compare to the job as RA, but worth trying at least to get the experience. There will be interview, of course there is always, but I am not sure whether I can manage it or not. Well what happen, happens. If I don’t get the job, I can try another one, the door is always open. Why am I telling all this stuff, sigh, I just have no idea. Actually I feel so lazy to write anything, but as a blogger, I need to keep my weblog up to date, unless I just get so lazy, and decide to abandon it one day. I sight some bloggers do that, without any explicit reason why came to my mind. Maybe they feel lacking of stuff in their blog, or unable to compete with the growing numbers of blogs, every single day (which I don’t think so).I never realize there are so many blogs from my country. See, even my country has a lot of bloggers, what about around the world? Every person has their own story to produce, stuff that happen to them everyday; album they buy on the net; banquet attended last week; books that they never understand; songs that are so funky that increase the level of adrenaline; and physical body become unhealthy. So many story to share, thus they put it on the net, protected and unprotected. I try to open it one by one, searching for different kind of story, but always found some of them are amusing. Those are the blogs that I put on my links, which in the beginning of my blogging era, I used them as source of inspiration in design and writing skills. Technically, most of them use Malay Language as primary written language, but yet their methods is crucial to entertain readers. I believe I did put a post about this in my blog, but in BM. Sorry for English readers out there, which happen to be here with or without reason.
Talking about reason, yesterday I did went to a debate (never in my life see a debate in live). The topic is about the presence of God is challenging the morality of human being. The opening speakers, which agree with the issue above try to give an example of how a human can stop an accident, or murder but require high morality to do that and try not to be such that the God is doing something to the person-the victim-is for his net benefit. That kind of situation is what challenging the morality, and after that he went on explaining his points, that I cannot explain everything here because I didn’t understand at the very end. Shame heh? For the opposition side, the representative of Divinity College, my friend Mike start to explain the true nature of human is not to rely everything to the fate that God has sent upon the victim, or yourself. That the God is not enemy of morality, but the human has err, wait up, I can’t talk more about this “divine intervention” stuff, because I didn’t understand. He then start to point out stuff about the Bible, and yeah, unfamiliar to such stuff, I tried to blend in with his point, but got stuck later on. I wish that he can speak on the God himself (which in the beginning spoke that the God is the same God that Jews, Christians and Muslims worshipped), not the Holy Trinity and etc. Anyway, it was an interesting event to see, where the room was crowded with people, and some small debates with the audience and the debaters. I do get some idea about the debate, but I need time to mix the point again, so that I, myself can come up with a conclusion.

I am not a good thinker, neither a good person. With this, let me start ranting about the small things I done and found interesting last two weeks. This is the stuff I always talked about: movies, book and music.

Movies [contain spoiler]

Lars and the Real Girl

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It was showing at the theater down town, but I’d manage to watch it 3 weeks ago. I read the review written in the Athenaum (newspaper by ASU), and interested to enjoy it.

The story is wicked, funny and become emotional when the story starts to grow. It tells about Lars Lindstrom (played by Ryan Gosling), the sweet shy guy in the town. People start to wondering why Lars does not has any girlfriend, and why he likes to live alone in the garage, while the house which his brother lives with his wife is also under his name. One day, after introduced by his friend about a website of selling sex dolls, Lars made a surprise to his brother, his sister in law, and consequently the whole town: to date a sex doll name Bianca. Thus begin a wonderful story about Lars and his “real girl”. To begin with, most people in the town have to pretend, along with him that Bianca is a real person, and they manage to take Bianca as a normal person in the society. For example, taking Bianca as a social worker at the hospital (??), dress her hair (which will never grow back) and read story books to kid in school (??).This is actually under an advice by a doctor, the only capable doctor in town, which says that Lars is having a delusion, in other word a problem that he need to overcome with: the true feeling of human touch and love.

In the middle of the story, Lars became uneasy with the treatment Bianca received, and blaming everyone and Bianca that she does not has a time to spend with him. This wasn’t long before we learn that Bianca rejects his proposal of marriage (this is the best and funniest part, and the turning point in Lars’s life). Lars then start to develop a feeling for the girl that admired him from the beginning of the story, Margo (played by Kelli Garner). Lars has decided to end his relationship with Bianca, by “making” her suddenly sick and dying. The town’s folk later mourned for Bianca’s death (Lars pretend that she got drowned in the lake) and manage to get her a grave (??). In the end, the movie gives a hint that Lars and Margo will be together, happily ever after?.

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This movie attracts me so much that it keeps me thinking, what is reflected in Lars with his communication to Bianca. His decision of coming up with Bianca’s rejection on marriage, her infertility, and wheelchair-bounded for excuses to “kill”Bianca, all of them are reflection of his own decision overcoming his problem with people around him. He even has a fight with his sister, after he said that people don’t respect him (in a sense) by taking Bianca away from him. He was proven wrong, that people do that because they love him, and want him to be happy with life. That was when Lars change his thought, and feel the need to be with somebody that movable, show happiness (emotions), and consorting when he needs it. The story also show, that the town has a good community, helping one another, and never feel bad against each other.
Overall, it is one of the beautiful movie that I ever watch, comprising themes of “real-fake” love, and family (where his brother and sister helped along, together with the town people). Sex doll is not helping man!

IMDB profile: Lars and the Real Girl

Enchanted

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Finally, I manage to get a copy of this movie! After waiting for long time, the magical world of Disney made his comeback to me. Lets go with the synopsis.

The beginning of the story, the character are in cartoon motion, with the old type Disney animation which once make Aladdin, Snow White and others famous as Disney brand. The heroine, Giselle (voiced and acted by Amy Adams) sing for his true love, which revealed later by the name Prince Edward (James Marsden). The story bring back the famous “true kiss” fantasy, which one will have the true love. This happiness between Giselle and Edward was interrupted by the prince’s stepmother, Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon). Giselle was sent to the “world with no happily ever after” – the true world, New York city. Hahaha, brilliant right? A cartoon character jump out to the real world, seeing cars, large building. Anyways, the hero of the story-the main hero after Prince Edward-Robert (Patrick Dempsey) met Giselle after his daughter become interest with her; knocking on the billboard, trying to go back to Andalasia. After some event, Prince Edward came to New York along with the queen’s sidekick, Nathaniel (Timothy Spall). Nathaniel was supposed to kill Giselle by giving her poisonous Red Apple (classic!), but fail because of Pip, a chipmunk that always protect Giselle. Finally, in the end, after some love confusion, Giselle fall in love with Robert, and by giving her true kiss, Giselle was saved from the maniac Narissa, which turned into a dragon. The defeat of Narissa was easy, well as a part of child story (no violence ok?), was finished by Pip. They all then live happily ever after.

The movie is amazing, well, for children of course. I felt it is good, but I am not a children, therefore it is good. Trust me. Even Rotten Tomatoes give it 95% “fresh”.

IMDB profile: Enchanted (2007)

Fargo

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Directed by Coen Brothers.

I think I’ll write it in the page Film Review of The Week in the side bar.

Dan In Real Life

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Alright, time to make it short. The post above is for the new movies, so I write it very long, with spoilers. Hahaha. Dan in Real life is also new movie, but not that new compare to the above.

Played by Steve Carell as Dan Burns, the movie tells about Dan find a new woman (he is a widow) at a bookstore. After talking to each other for hours, Dan feels the need to love again, which he really felt with the woman. Surprisingly, after reached his home, we learned that the woman is his brother’s (Mitch played by Dane Cook) new girlfriend. Thus begin story on how Dan has to fight his feeling for not to hurt his brother’s feeling, and subsequently not to love the woman (Marie played by Juliette Binoche). Not just with the problem of his love, he also has problem with his daughters, especially the second one, which later called him as “murderer of love”. The plot getting interesting as we want to know how both of them end up, with Marie’s love for Dan grown each day.

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It is a nice story that blended up the theme of love between family and personal. Not to forget or carry away with your own love and forget the close one that you already have from the beginning.

IMDB profile: Dan in Real Life (2007)

Big Fish

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The best magical realism movie I ever watch. The other is The Lake House, well I skip that one. It is directed by Tim Burton, released in 2003.

The story is simple, about Will Bloom frustration with his father, for he never tells his son any true story at all. Everything is almost like a fairy tale; happy plot and happy ending. In reality, which later revealed by the doctor that knew his father long enough, his story isn’t that happy to compare with the made up. The way the story was being told was in magical way, such as a giant; a big fish; town with happy people and twins with one pair of legs.

It is a father-son story, has its own morale from the theme. Well, I just have no time to tell every details.

IMDB profile: Big Fish (2003)

(this post will continue some other time)